Being a man is means being authentic. It means being true to who you really are.
I’ve described this in the past as being congruent – all the parts of you are in agreement.
The people around you can see who you are. Your family, your wife, your girlfriend, your children, your boss or co-workers, and your friends can all see who you really are. And over time they learn to see through you.
If you say one thing and do another, that’s not being authentic.
When you behave one way in public and another in private, that’s not being authentic.
If you’re not authentic, the people around you will see through you and they’ll lose respect for you. That applies to your kids, friends, family, co-workers and significant other.
In short, you need to be true to yourself, be who you really are and be yourself all the time, no matter what and no matter who you’re around.
If you say you hate sports but then gush about football when you’re out with your buddies, that’s not being authentic.
If you don’t like someone at work but pretend to like them in front of your boss, that’s not being authentic.
To be authentic, you have to be yourself, your true self, all the time.
That’s harder than it sounds. We all have pressures that push us away from being our true selves. Pressures from others, pressures to succeed, peer pressure, internal pressures, and more.
It’s easier to be authentic if you know who you are (and it’s better).
Because if you know who you are inside: what your values are, what your priorities and goals are, know your boundaries, and have confidence in yourself then it’s easier to stay true to those things.
We aren’t taught how to be authentic. And we aren’t taught how to know who we are inside. Plus society pushes all kinds of thoughts and ideas and pressures to conform at us. Advertising alone bombards us with thousands of messages a year about what being a man looks like, how to be popular, how to appeal to women, how to be successful, and what we should want to be happy. Plus other media like music, tv, movies, games, and news outlets are also feeding us images of how they define manliness.
It’s no wonder it’s easy to be confused. But we have to reject those images and define ourselves by what matters to us instead.
Being a man requires being authentic. And that starts with you getting clear about who you really are.
– Weston Henry
What role model do you have for being authentic?
What could be better for you if you were more authentic?