Why did I start this site? What’s my story?
In the span of 1 year, I went through major upheaval in my life. My wife and I filed for divorce, I was hit with the very painful realization that I had not been the father I wanted to be to my children, and my long-time business partner tried to have me fired from a business we had started together.
It was October 2014 when my wife and I decided to get a divorce. The news hit our four children hard. At the time, I knew it was the right thing to do and even though it would be hard on them, it would be better for everyone in the end. The divorce was not going to be easy. I tried to suggest we work it out without turning it into a fight but my wife wanted full custody of our children and that wasn’t something I would allow so it turned bitter anyway.
Once the divorce started, my already frazzled nerves went downhill even more. I was emotionally spent and lost all focus at work.
Fast forward five months to March 2016. After doing a lot of soul searching to figure out how my marriage had gone so wrong, I realized that what I had wanted most was just to be accepted for who I was. All the negative things that had built up and caused resentment didn’t really matter. It was this one simple truth that really mattered most.
In a strange coincidence, I came home from work one morning about to break down and my wife hadn’t left for work yet (we were still living in the same house). Somehow we started talking and ended up spending many hours over the next few days and nights taking even more.
Eventually we decided to reconcile, try to work things out, and call off the divorce.
We started marriage counseling and I started going to counseling personally as well for anxiety and self-esteem problems.
Working on my marriage, going through counseling, working on myself, facing many personal demons, and facing guilt over not being the parent that I wanted to be took a toll on my emotions and energy. I wasn’t happy doing what I was doing at work and it showed.
A couple months after stepping down from being the CEO of my company and turning the role over to my business partner, he tried to have me fired. We each had built up animosity towards the other over a long time and it finally boiled over.
Luckily, our board of directors had cooler and clearer heads and kept the lid on the pot long enough for things to settle down and get back on track.
But the thread that weaves through all of that story and indeed, most of the problems and mistakes I’ve made in my life is this:
Those problems happened because I wasn’t being the person I wanted to be at those times. I had patterns of thinking and behaved in ways that I’m not proud of. Those things aren’t who I want to be.
And the sad thing is… They’re not who I used to be. I realized that I once had higher ideals. I once had clarity, purpose, drive, and integrity that were important to who I was. Yet, at one time or another, some of those things had slipped away or gotten cloudy.
So I set out to redefine who I am, to discover again the pillars of my character and commit myself to living as authentically as I can.
It’s not an easy goal. I see the difference between where I am and where I want to be every day. But each time I read these words and apply them. It’s gets a little easier. A little clearer.
I know that life is a journey and so is this quest for me.
I hope you’ll find ideas and understanding here that will help you too.
– Weston Henry
What’s happened in your life as a result of not being true to who you are?
What would be better for you if you lived more authentically?